Muslim Youth for Truth: Everyone has a Story: Elizabeth's Journey to Becoming Muslim

I’ll start by saying that practically everyone in my family is of a different religion. Prior to converting to Islam, I called myself an Agnostic, along with my mother and older sister. All I knew was that I believed in God and everything else was product of man. I wasn’t even looking for a religion to convert to when I found Islam; I was perfectly happy as an Agnostic. During my junior year in high school, I had my first boyfriend who just so happened to be the only Muslim in town (it was a very small town). I knew he was Muslim but I had no idea what that was or meant. Meanwhile, I had a job at a hotel working nights and whenever I had a free chance I would get lost looking at all the information there was on Islam on the internet. I learned so much that it overwhelmed me at first. The only reason I ever looked any of this stuff up was to learn exactly what my current boyfriend believed in. I thought it was ridiculous for me to be so close to someone and not know their morals and beliefs. However, after a few weeks of doing research, I told him what I had learned and he was dumbfounded merely because none of his other girlfriends ever made the effort to do this. He was my first (and only) boyfriend I had, so I thought it was only normal for me to do this: apparently not. In any case, he was extremely supportive of me learning about Islam and he would further my interest by telling me things I hadn’t learned yet. It was at this point I gave up pork and alcohol forever, although I did not drink alcohol prior to this for personal reasons.

A few months after researching Islam, it was Ramadan, and my boyfriend had told me it was totally up to me if I wanted to fast, so I did. It was very hard the first few days because I was working and had school, but I got through it alhumdillilah. All my friends and family knew I was reading up on this new religion and fully supported me. In fact, I was able to give them some helpful information about it that many don’t realize: such as the fact that it is NOT polytheistic and actually stems from Christianity and Judaism. These were primarily the main misconceptions. During my first Ramadan I was given an English Qur’an and began reading it as well as highlighting certain phrases that stuck out to me.

During my first semester of college I took an Intro to Islam course that was taught by a convert. This course was incredibly interesting to me and since the class was often quizzed on Arabic words, it forced me to learn them and become familiar with them. I enjoyed the professor’s teaching so much that I am currently taking my fourth class with her. This class gave me so much knowledge on the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, and others, as well as the history behind Islam. This class made me realize Arabic is a big part of being a Muslim; therefore, I decided I needed to take Arabic before my conversion.

   It would be two years later that I would get into an Arabic class. Although I took so many Islam courses to pass the time in college, I had a better understanding of Islam than some Muslims I knew. Not to mention, every Ramadan, YouTube was my best friend. I would listen to so many young people talk about their conversion process and how they are enjoying their lives now. One main problem in my life that kept me from becoming Muslim was in fact the person that brought it into my life: my boyfriend. I knew I couldn’t date someone after saying my Shahadah, nor would I want to, but at this point in our three and a half year relationship, it was too hard to break up with someone you loved and spent every day with.

   During the summer of 2009 I had a hard course load and could not work that much, and without my scholarships, I had a hard time paying bills. This took its toll on me physically and mentally. I had accumulated so much anxiety I had to see a doctor because my parents were getting worried about me. It was as if the stress of life was getting too hard and my relationship with my boyfriend was getting worse and worse because of anxiety. I realized once Ramadan started that’s what was missing from my life, Islam. It had been probably a year since I had taken an Islam course, so I figured I needed Islam back in my life.

The beginning of my 3^rd year in college, just a few months ago as a matter of fact, it was three days until Eid al-Fitr. I came home from work and my boyfriend told me he wanted to break up with me because he felt it was wrong for us to continue a relationship. I completely agreed and understood this to mean we were still on our path to getting married in the future. So the next day at work, I realized that I am enrolled in an Arabic class and have no boyfriend; therefore I had nothing holding me back. I told a Muslim lady I worked with and that I feel its time for me to convert soon. She immediately suggested I convert on Eid in front of the entire congregation. This was NOT what I had in mind. I was thinking more private with just Muslimas but she had convinced me that it was an honor to witness someone say their Shahada, so I figured, who was I to take that away from the men? That night, my friend at work gave me clothes to wear as well as a hijab, or headscarf, and made all the arrangements with the Imam. All I had to do was show up.

When I get there with my friend the morning of Eid I cannot stop crying. At the time I felt so foolish because here are all these Muslim women looking at me like I’m crazy. I told my friend I didn’t think I could get through the Shahadah without crying. I had made it a point that I would never speak the words of the Shahadah even in a whisper because I believed those words were saved for the day I converted, so when everyone told me to practice, I firmly said no. But when the time came to say it, I spoke clearly and without any sniffles. Shukran Allah. However, the rest of the time I was back to crying. It was an amazing feeling though. Everyone hugged me and congratulated me. Some of my Muslim classmates were there, as well as my Islam professor.

      The rest of the day did not go as smoothly as it should have. My now ex-boyfriend decided that this was the day he was going to tell me we had no future together; that he no longer loved me. This made me fall into a very deep depression that I’m now glad to say it was thanks to Allah I am still here. My determination to prayer was the only thing keeping me from the dark. For two months I lived like a hermit and didn’t bother to meet my fellow Muslim sisters or go to any Islam meetings. I felt too alone.

   November was my saving grace. A young girl in one of my Islam classes introduced me to some Muslim girls that were on the Executive board of Islam on Campus. They took me to my first Jumaah on campus and out to eat later that night. Just their company alone meant so much to me. Later I was invited to a Halaqa where I met other Muslim girls and began friendships with many of them. In fact, the person who asked me to write this blog is one of those people who has no idea how much her kind words kept me out of the dark and on the road to living life as a proud Muslim convert. I am currently extremely happy I converted and am so thankful to Allah for giving me such wonderful friends.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”